To me, forgiveness is love from the highest spiritual part of us. Is it possible, that any of us did not want forgiveness for something we’ve done in our lifetime? Could it be that any of us have been that perfect? I don’t believe so. Sometimes the hardest part is forgiving ourselves, and part of that may be because we don’t love ourselves in the first place. Maybe we think that to love ourselves is egotistical. I do believe that our ego can get in the way a lot of times. I remember receiving a phone call from my brother years ago. He called to tell me that he had been sitting at a red light, thinking about starting another twelve step program called Egos Anonymous because he felt like that’s what he needed to work on, when all of a sudden he thought about how famous he would be, he could be on Johnny Carson, etc. We both had a good laugh over that. Self- love is not being narcissistic it’s knowing that you are a child of God; that you are loving, giving and you value life. You can go to bed at night knowing that you have done your best today. It is said that we are not capable of loving others, unless we love ourselves. The Bible says to love thy neighbor as thyself. I read in one of my meditation books that forgiving is not forgetting, it’s letting go of the past. Holding on to resentments only harms us. It’s our blood pressure and heart rate that goes up, not the person we resent, who doesn’t even know we are thinking about it again. It also disturbs any inner peace we might have. So, if you’ve been unable to forgive someone in your life, I ask you to reconsider. Look within and find the love that’s deep enough to let go of what- ever it is and while you are at it, please forgive yourself for not forgiving them sooner.
Toni True-Wills, Ph.D.